On Meditation

I was first introduced to meditation in my yoga classes. I experienced meditation more while in the SEVA program at Kripalu, primarily with the use of mantra and through kirtan and kundalini yoga. Then, two years later, I did a 10 day silent meditation Vipassana and that is where I I had my first dip below the level of my mind. I arrived, expecting that I would uncover some really awful dark truths (which I did!), but after spending at least 6 hours developing a plan to leave undetected on the second day, I began to fall more into my heart, into deeper clarity and peace. When I got home, I went straight into opening and running a studio for four and half years, and I met and married my husband, and we had our first son Brendan, and then I got incredibly ill with  lung and heart failure (cardiomyopathy). When I began to loose my ability to breathe, meditation became more and more important. I become more and more attracted to meditation when I read through Sally Kempton's book, Meditation for the Love of It. 

There has been a quiet, slow turning towards meditation as a daily practice for me. The feeling is remenicent of when the practice of yoga began to take hold and draw me back to the mat in those early years of my practice. For the last two years I have been listening to and learning from Sally Kempton, David Wagner, Elena Brower and Thom Knoles. But still, I don't have a strong dedicated commitment, ... yet. I have experienced the benefits of meditation, for sure. It ignites my creativity and fills my bucket for sure, but until recently I've (sub/unconsciously) approached it from a place of, what will I get out of it, what will I gain. And now, most immediately, my perspectively has changed - as it does after years of practice. Now, my approach is more reverent and more about being aware. It is still essential to my self-care practice, but it is absolutely essential for the person that I am becoming - someone who is aware, present, alive, vibrant, and calm, with an abundance of love and generosity. Meditation teaches me, it teaches us, how to do this.

Meditation is the practice of becoming.

Click here for a really excellent, and free call on the Science, Heart, and Wisdom of Meditation with my teacher Elena Brower (scroll about half way down the page). I will be signing up for her 4 week audio meditation course. Also, please join me on Wednesday, October 14 :: 7:30-8:15pm as I lead the Oshkosh Meditation Group at Inner Sun Yoga.

On Mothering

Janet Stone says mothering allows us to transition into the reality of what is available.

Currently, my practice consists of 15min of movement and 15min of meditation in the am, then a 5-20min practice later in the day with “baby assists” – aka 2 boys that think “mommy jungle gym” is open. We all know as teachers how important our own practice is so that we can give from a full, informed place. But, how do I teach well, really really well, hand-students-their-own-experience-of-themselves well, show-someone-the-beauty-of-their-own-worth well, when this is my practice, when “this is all I have time for”?

Mothering allows us to transition into the reality of what is available.

The reality of what is available right now is the curiosity and awareness with which my youngest plays with rain water from last night’s storm – filling, dumping, refilling cups with delight, interest and pure joy, in the way that he doe,s before he casually moves on the the next delightfulness.

He is my teacher. From him I learn patience, gentleness, softness, steadfastness in the face of absolute chaos. From him, I learn to lighten (the f**k) up and just be here. He continually invites me into the moment, he demands my presence and he is joy-filled when he has it. How can I have missed any of these teachings?

The reality of what is available to us as teachers who are mothers (or fathers) is not a lack of time to devote to practice and study, but it is a richness of opportunity within each moment. The very best teachers have spent decades learning how to access this, but it is children who already know.

What an honor and privilege it is to be a mother of children. May we continue to learn from and respect our kids, and our students.

Moms, please join me for Strong Moms at the 20th St. Y, Thursday, October 15 at 5:30pm for dinner and Restorative yoga. The event is FREE and childcare is provided. You will need to register : Facebook  230-8439  angelaflanigan@oshkoshymca.org

From Maiden to Mother

I did a search and happened upon "Top 5 Cool Mama Blogs" and kinda fell in love with mysticmamma.com. Sometimes I like to go out there, astrology, mysticism, consciousness, the cosmos and this really feeds that part of me and really resonates. A real place of inspiration. from mysticmamma.com

The transition from Maiden to Mother is immense, it is a Rite of Passage. It is one of the greatest thresholds you will ever cross. Be brave my sisters, if you are being called to the great calling of becoming a Mother. It is truly a gift that will herald you into your fullness and you will blossom more than you could ever imagine. Yes, it is not easy, but you have all that it takes.

One of the most fundamental changes that will occur is that your gaze, your focus, will shift. As a Maiden your gaze is inward on your inner world, your thoughts, feelings and desires. As a Mother, your gaze shifts outward toward your child, as they become the center of your focus and attention. This is what truly marks it a Rite of Passage, for your experience of yourself will change. During this transition be gentle with your self, and realize that as you grow into your new self, into your mammahood, you will find your inner strength and power emerging.

You are by nature, a natural expression of the Feminine principle. All the qualities are inherent in you and you are walking a road that has been walked by women from the beginning of time. Open up to that power, and access your inner wisdom and strength and know that you can and you will. Remember to ask for help and take the time to find balance for yourself. Be brave, be true and you will, with an open heart, bless the new generation of angels to walk this earth.

On the issue of fear or rather sadness and loss that arises, realize this is normal. You are embarking on a new life but a new life that will herald you into your fullness, into your mammahood.

There is nothing like it and you will grow more than ever before into a beautiful strong tree that will give shelter to your little bird or birds.

There is a loss yes, of the old you. But the GAIN, your strength! It’s what it’s all about, and you can’t even imagine it or conceive it until it happens to you, until you become transformed from the core of your very being. When you take the leap and finally emerge on the other side and realize that you Are, you are matta, mother~ nothing more beautiful…

Embrace this beautiful calling, it is a gift. We are blessed to be able to have this unique experience as women.

For more Mystic Mamma, go here.
Picture is from Mystic Mamma.

Brother Mine

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They look so much alike here. Brendan is reading Aesop's Fables to Owen.

They are only little for a little while.

Summer Style / Madewell

SILK MUSCLE TEE IN MOROCCAN FLORAL / BACKYARD SUNDRESS IN CHEVRON IKAT / CAMI MAXI DRESS IN MOROCCAN FLORAL/ BILTMORE & MADEWELL PANAMA HAT / THE GLADIATOR SIGHTSEEING SANDAL / SANDCASTLE COVERUP

Love that Moroccan Floral!