Motherhood, Money + Work in world

Motherhood, Money + Work in world

The true title for this post should really be called “A 3 Part Reflection on Motherhood, Money + Work in the World ending with thoughts on Non-dual reality” so here goes.

We were standing in our kitchen talking about having kids. I said if it happens great if it doesn’t that ok too. Nate said it would be ok if our baby had special needs, that he could handle that, and I said, don’t say that, because I don’t think I could. 2010, months after we were married, I took a pregnancy test and bingo! first try, pregnant! Happy healthy pregnancy until the spring when I developed a cough from a virus we think, still no concerns and in late July, I went into labor rather gently and spaciously - we took our time getting ready to go to the hospital, eating croissants and waiting for our doula to arrive. We headed on over got checked in and labor got going. 12 drug free hours later, labor was not progressing, doctor broke my water, then an epidural, then a cesarean surgery and I was looking into B’s beautiful baby eyes … I didn’t put him down for the next 24 hours or so it felt. We were in the hospital for 3 days and it felt like forever. The first thing my dad said was you still look pregnant (I don’t know what he was thinking when he said that). Anyway, We took him home, I dressed in white to mark the right of passage and tiny little baby B with me, in the back seat. We slowly pulled out of the parking lot onto the main street and I gave the driver behind me the middle finger - he was too close to our bumper. Welcome to Motherhood!

The next 6 weeks I recovered from surgery and nursed my beautiful babe, in love with every bit of this new person, relying on Nate and family and friends for food and help up. We went for a very short walk to Tumalo Falls and I cried because I couldn’t make it more than several hundred feet. Giving birth this way was not what I had expected or planned for.

I owned a yoga studio at this time and I was ready to cut back on my responsibilities there and settle into being a mom when with a 6 week old, Nate lost his job - a job he left another job for. So, we needed the yoga studio to be more “successful” to cover our living expenses. We went to work together for about 6 months and I prepped for teaching Yoga Teacher Training. Nursing and mothering and running a business began to take it’s toll on my health. The cough I had during my 3rd trimester went dormant, but still lingered and after the baby weight came off, I kept loosing weight. B was delightful, sleeping through the night and we had a good rhythm in our little family. Nate began working for an acupuncturist and was able to bring B to work while I taught me classes. The cough continued and one day I was walking the few blocks home from Nate’s work with B in the moby and I started to get short of breath, by the time I got home I had to sit on the curb in front of the house to catch my breath - too tired to get inside. So I went to the doctor, CT, pulmonary function test, pulmonologist, cardiologist, etc. - diagnosis: perinatal cardiomyopathy - congestive heart failure - shock. At this point no more children, and possibly death - shock, we are sending you home with this oxygen tank. Even as I write this, I can’t remember the details and its hard to remember sitting in the doctor’s office with baby B and Nate hearing this. I honestly don’t remember all the details of that year, but I went on medication, stayed with my yoga, meditation, healthy eating practices, and went to all the healers: massage, heart-mapping, crystal healing, acupuncture, energy work, carnio-sacral therapy (the perks of owning a community yoga studio). Went on beta blockers and got better but I also developed asthma. I took time off. We decided to close the studio. The final week after dinner with some students, I started to get short of breath. That night I had an asthma attack, we went straight to the ER. I didn’t have to wait in the lobby or check in, they took me right away. My lips were blue, I couldn’t breathe. I am sitting on the exam table, leaning forward, lorazepam in my veins, doctor is looking at me and I am wondering how come I can’t breathe, doctor is deciding on whether or not to intubate. Nate and little B are in the corner. I spent two nights in the hospital and couldn’t teach my last class.

My heart broke the day I became a mother. My lungs tried to process the grief and couldn’t. Couldn’t because I wasn’t sad - being a mother has also given me the experience of unconditional love. True Love.

We went on to get pregnant again and in 2014 gave birth to O, on the anniversary of the day my mom died 12 years earlier. Seems that motherhood for me would be destined to be a great paradox - tension for transformation.

2104, we were in Portland. Nate was in residency at a Level 1 Trauma and Children’s Hospital (he’s a hospital chaplain) and I was home with 2. 5 year old B and and baby O. My body tried again to process the emotions and I experienced postpartum depression. Nate also brought home stories and energy from the hospital which contributed to feelings about what if …

Where is this reflection going?

Feelings, so many feelings, feelings coming to the surface for me to process and learn from.

Fast forward, we move to Wisconsin. Moving from the Pacific Northwest to central Wisconsin was a pretty tough transition. I loved living in Oregon, it is so beautiful. Trees, rivers, ocean, high desert, alpine all the wild places. Places to connect with Nature to balance the feelings. We went hiking and took adventures all the time. When we moved to Wisconsin I settled into family life.

I taught a few yoga classes per week, a few workshops, but my focus was on raising the little ones and learning about this new and exotic Midwest culture. It was a good life, stable, balanced, centered. B went to preschool two blocks down the street and O was still napping. My creativity returned. After 6 months in our rental we moved into the cutest house, a Cape Cod build by the owner in 1932. Life with 2 small kids is challenging, but we were cultivating a peaceful existence. Pancakes on Saturday morning, fires in the backyard fire-pit under an old tree, swinging on the swingset, the infectious delightful laughter of young children.

When B was 4, I got a call from school saying he fell down some stairs - he hit is head and had a giant goose egg. I noticed he moved slower than the other kids and he took a long time getting up stairs. He was my first, I didn’t know what was “normal.” He began to work with a physical therapist at school and we set up a special plan for him to work on his gross motor skills. When he was 5 I had a terrible feeling and an internet search brought fear and tears to the surface. Nate just thought I was stress crazed, but he agreed to talk to the PT, the PT suggested with we talk to Pediatrician, B got a blood test. This week is etched so clearly in my mind. One night we had a picnic at the lake and B had his bike, Nate and O had fishing poles and worms, he rode and I walked - it was far and I remember thinking this may the last time we ever get to do this. B said he wasn’t tired. May 5, 2017 the doctor called with the results - elevated CK levels, I’m getting you in with a specialist next week. We drive to Milwaukee, the specialist didn’t wait long to confirm what we already new but hoped against - Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy - “I am very sorry.” We will do genetic testing, find out his dna sequencing. The time between getting the blood test, seeing the specialist and waiting for the genetic results was slow, I think I took a video of the boys everyday and watched it every night before bed. I tried to stop time. Stop time long enough for a cure to be developed, a miracle.

“Brendan if you could go anywhere in the world were would you go?” His answer .. a local nature preserve. I wrote this after visiting the nature preserve. At this point I was still thinking maybe it’s something else, maybe miraculously, magically it will be Becker’s MD.

Paradoxically, DMD is a slowly progressing disease, which gives us time to slowly get used to what that means. It will be years before he will rely fully on the use of wheelchair. He can have a “normal” childhood. It’s also quickly progressing, life expectancy is maybe 30.

You might be able to imagine what this feels like. (I write about it in my blog posts from around that time - I didn’t edit much. I was also interviewed on the Special Needs Spotlight of the blog This Little Miggy, after the initial trauma subsided. Nate also wrote about how it affected our marriage.)

Motherhood is hard enough I thought, how? … how the hell am I going to do this? I experienced suicidal ideation and massive situational depression. I also continued to teach yoga classes, tuck my boys in at night, make the family food, play in the park & backyard, laugh + live. We sold our house, bought a new house, moved and started at a new school. Elena, my yoga teacher, gifted me with a mentorship program and a box of doterra essential oils. I had nasal polyp surgery then enrolled with doterra. The best day of my life was the day we went to Little Farmer in September 2018 - the boys had so much fun, it was warm, we brought a picnic and I could smell. I had not smelled my children yet, I couldn’t stop smelling them or my husband. The best day of my life occurred after we got the news? The human experience is expansive.

I began to seriously consider the opportunity to build a business with doterra. I wanted to be able to pay for a power chair, accessibility home renovations, trips to give my boy a full life and experience of this beautiful world, therapy, self-care support so that I could show up for him and O and Nate and family, friends, community fully and “super duper happy” (see here). I considered the ways in which I was “trading hours for dollars” - teaching yoga a few times a week would not be sufficient should anything happen where Nate were to loose his job and/or insurance.

I began to put effort toward building + offering classes at a newly renovated Holistic Health space. (This was something I had been thinking about and waiting for a long time.) I waited patiently for the renovation to be completed. Jan - March, then finally to May. I had a full first class and then summer started. Summer is not an ideal time to start something up in Wisconsin. I was hoping by September (and Owen’s start of school) things would be flowing. However, all this effort was a distraction. As I write this, I can see the excuses, the sabotage. I was trying too hard. I wasn’t sure I belonged or was wanted. Energetically nothing was balanced.

In Sept 2018, I stepped away from teaching yoga to process all that had happened and to focus on ways in which I could move out of “trading dollars for hours.” This was 10 years after I opened that yoga studio in Bend.

It’s now Feb 2019. I have enrolled just under a dozen people. The oils and supplements have been very helpful. I said yes to doterra because of the support that the oils + supplements give to B in the form of mitigating inflammation and stress. The only treatment available is long term corticosteroid use so we need to balance the side effects with holistic alternatives. In this area, doterra is a godsend.

However, as I am writing this now, I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t mean teach classes, share knowledge, support - that I can do all day. But, I don’t know if what I offer is needed or wanted. Is this thinking sabotage? Probably. Truth is that I have a hard time working for money. Partly because there is a belief that I can’t and partly because my thinking goes to far end of what is possible. Its is not balanced. It is extreme. Truth: I don’t have a healthy relationship with money. And being a mother of a child with special needs has brought that truth to light for transformation. How often do we, culturally or personally talk about money?

This is the first time I am writing about it …

(Thank you for reading this far, if you have made it!)

I grew up in affluent southern California. My dad was a Chief Financial Officer for a major real estate development firm and was able to retire with a home in Irvine, a beach house in Newport Beach and a rental property in Venice, CA in his 40s. My mom was a SAM. Dolores came to clean our house each week, lawn care was taken care of our HOAs. There were neighborhood pools, playing fields, basketball hoops, tennis lessons and a lake for sailing lessons. My childhood was full of soccer, gymnastics, dance, girl scouts, horseback riding camp, Disneyland + amusement parks, family road trips, a European vacation, braces, and shopping. I also ran track, played basketball and played competitive volleyball at a national level. College was paid for, as was my car, insurance and phone bill. I write about this here because its an important part of my understanding of my work in the world and how it relates to motherhood for me. It is also an important part of owning my privilege and reconciling with my feelings of worth - again to opposing extremes. After college I worked in sales and then married a US Marine at age 23. We moved overseas, I was given a job for the US State Department. Post: US Mission to Cote d’Ivoire, West Africa, per capita income aprox. $2500/year - welcome to the 3rd World. Poverty wasn’t just for poor people, this was an entire nation. I didn’t think about this then. I was a 23 year old living overseas in an apartment with a pool, a guard and househelp. I was also given a job - though I had to interview for the job, it was one of the jobs reserved for spouses. While living overseas, I was able to save over $100k, by age 25. So my experience with money up until this point was that it was plentiful and always available, that money was no barrier - it was unlimited. I did not see this at the time and today as I write, I am horrified by my thinking and ignorance.

When my mom died, the veil was torn and my whole life cracked, a seismic shift occurred. Money in the bank was no buffer to the pain of this experience at that age. Civil War broke out, and Cote d’Ivoire fell into chaos. We moved to Frankfurt and then back to the states - living in Alexandria, VA. Then we built a house and moved to NC and soon my husband was off to Afghanistan. Afghanistan, post 911 meant very little contact. I went out to lunch, I bought furniture, I took yoga classes, I went to the spa, I went out to dinner and spent time in fancy cocktail bars, drinking lots of expensive cocktails.

I created a business, The Little Black Box - special events and date planning service. I set up the perfect dates, where the husband (usually) only had to click on the package and I set everything up. This meant lots of “research” vising hotels and restaurants in cities all over the country, making contacts, creating “grand gesture” experiences for other couples, while my husband was entrenched in a war zone.

While all of this was going on, I took yoga classes daily. The mat is a place of transformation. Anyone who practices regularly knows this. On the mat, I was confronted with dishonesty in myself and I had to face it. (Full details I am leaving out of the story at this time, but being that this is a reflection about money, its relevant to note that money is related the 2nd chakra which is also related to sex - considering my story about money thus far, you might be able to deduce that if I had an abundance of money, then maybe I also had an abundance of something else related to money.) I didn’t know at the time that my behavior was a result of my inability to face loss, it was defensive. It was wrong, but with no judgement I can see why and I understand and continue to forgive myself.

I had a really profound experience at a yoga workshop and signed up for teaching training. By the time the 6 month training was complete, I was separated and had filed for divorce.

End of Part One

I went to Kripalu and lived without money all together. I helped open two yoga studios, taught classes, moved from NC to OR and waiting for the house to sell while I waited tables. This job was the first job where I had to work, physically labor. But, I made so much money in a short period time and had so much fun that looking back it doesn’t count as real life. My house sold, the season slowed, my fling with the sous chef ended and I visited Bend OR. With the money from the sale of the house, I decided to pack up and move there. Bought (actually my dad did) a season pass to Mt. Bachelor and went snowboarding. When spring came, I fell in love with the guy who delivered my newly purchased table, we broke up, and I decided to grow up a little. I went to yoga, I got a job and at night I sat in McMenamin’s working on a new business - a yoga studio. I did this while I drank Maker’s Mark (so I could sit there for a long time and not have to order more drinks) and ate tater-tots (cheap + delicious). Oh, the paradox of that!

I went on a silent meditation retreat for 10 days and then opened a yoga studio in the midst of the economic crash of 2008. Of course.

I mean the paradox of my existence was completely dualistic.

I worked hard, but not smart. At 31 this was the first time I was responsible for anything. All insecurities, lack of focus, irritation, self-hatred showed up in those years. And at the same time, I was happy to be stepping up, learning, growing, changing, and being really challenged. Doing something that I loved, that was honest, that was true. Completely hooked on yoga and deeply immersed in the teachings, study and practice. The studio was rich in love and community. I moved from a “business model” to an non-profit community model. I fought my dad on how to run this “business” and I made so little money that I had to apply for food stamps. Can you see where we are in the cycle?

The day I signed the lease on the studio is also the day I met Nate. We were inseparable. He moved into my apartment, he knew he wanted to marry me, but I didn’t want to be married. He asked and I said ask me tomorrow, this went on for several weeks, maybe months. One year after we met, we had a “celebration of love and commitment” a potluck, a bonfire, the whole community there. We asked each person to share a reflection on love and commitment and how we (Nate and I) demonstrated this. It was profoundly moving and I woke up the next morning feeling married and happy. One year later we were actually married, in a ceremony in a shaman’s house in front of a fireplace on the Oregon coast. I was barefoot and had feathers in my hair. Nate worked at a bakery because the studio income wasn’t enough to cover our expenses, we made the reception a potluck, we asked everyone to pitch in. We used food stamps to purchase some of the food. We were supported by the State, our community, and Love. My dad was in shock I think. I think he’s still hasn’t recovered. Food stamps and state insurance. After the honeymoon (paid for by my dad), I had surgery (nasal polyp surgery #1). We knew we wanted a family. We decided we would get to it while we had State support. I was also 34, so the time was now or never.

This takes us back to the beginning of this reflection on motherhood, money + work in the world.

In Portland, I went to the WIC office each month with my two babies to get checks. Residency gave us insurance, but Portland is expensive, we had just enough to cover our rent and most of our expenses. I am so grateful to the State of Oregon for taking care of our needs. When residency ended, we had had enough. We were both eager for Nate to get a full-time job.

I went from affluence to welfare. As I write this I feel the shame of that.

However, now I glance out the window at the snow on the ground. My warm house has a fire going. Nate has a full time job (that he loves) with insurance. The boys are at a great school in a great safe neighborhood and B has all the special needs support that we could hope for. We go to costco every month to fill our pantry and we eat organic food. We are growing a big garden, we have a pure-bred pub. I have been able to take the last six months off and invest in my health each month with doterra.

Motherhood has humbled me. Special Needs Motherhood has humbled me more. I am confronting me fears, my failures, my mistakes, my ignorance, my shame. I am confronting my privilege. I am a rich white lady with every opportunity. I struggle with a sense of worthiness and at the same time, I am motivated to make a difference and to serve, to grow.

I see the duality. I see the paradox. I feel the tension.

End of Part Two

In Kate Northrup’s Book: Money, a Love Story, she says that money doesn’t exist. It’s made up.

It’s a stand-in for something else. In essence, we trade money for what we want, for things that, in our eyes, have a certain value. The economy is simply a system of value exchange. That’s it. Money in and of itself is nothing. It’s what money represents that makes the whole shebang a little complex.

Side Note: I have listened (in Audible) to Kate’s book. I brought tears to my eyes almost immediately. She considers your relationship with your money a mirror for your relationship with yourself. Change/heal your relationship with yourself and you change/heal your relationship with money changes - both will grow. It is a guidebook for shifting mindset. I have yet to go through the workbook, but it’s on the goal list for this month (more about that in another post).

Here is the inherent conflict I am wrestling with and working to heal: I associate money with pain + sickness on the one extreme and ignorance + entitlement on the other extreme. My view of money is dualistic as is my thinking.

Father Richard Rohr says this of dualism:

Dualistic thinking, or the “egoic operating system,” is our way of reading reality from the position of our private and small self. “What’s in it for me?” “How will I look if I do this?” This is the ego’s preferred way of seeing reality. It is the ordinary “hardware” of almost all Western people. We ended up confusing information with enlightenment, mind with soul, and thinking with experiencing—yet these are very different paths.

The dualistic mind is essentially binary, either/or thinking. It knows by comparison, opposition, and differentiation. It uses descriptive words like good/evil, pretty/ugly, smart/stupid, not realizing there may be a hundred degrees between the two ends of each spectrum. Dualistic thinking works well for the sake of simplification and conversation, but not for the sake of truth or the immense subtlety of actual personal experience. Most of us settle for quick and easy answers instead of any deep perception.

We do need the dualistic mind to function in practical life, however, and to do our work as a teacher, a nurse, a scientist, or an engineer. It’s helpful and fully necessary as far as it goes, but it just doesn’t go far enough. The dualistic mind cannot process things like infinity, mystery, God, grace, suffering, sexuality, death, or love; this is exactly why most people stumble over these very issues. The dualistic mind pulls everything down into some kind of tit-for-tat system of false choices and too-simple contraries.

I can count the times where large amount of money came with great pain. The death of my mom, the death of my grandfather, my divorce, B’s diagnosis. As a little girl, money felt embarrassing - going to the bank to set up a bank account, showing dad what we bought - being asked to model the clothes we purchased that day; in college my roommate thought I was a “rich girl” and with that came some sort of shame - I went from Polo to Grudge as quickly as possible. And, I also loved to dress up and eat at fancy restaurants, go to snowboarding and gambling in Lake Tahoe. My parents lived on Lake Oswego and in the summer I would drive my mom’s bmw convertible into Portland and take yoga classes. I think I’m spending so much time here on the story because reflecting it shows me what I didn’t see at the time. Telling you this story opens me up to criticism and judgement. However, if you can remain nondual in your observation as I am, you may be able to see subtlety in it all. I see it. I see the complexity and confusion and lack of clarity, the misunderstanding of action not aligned with intention and presence. I can see the fear, lack of trust, unknowing.

So when I come to the question of my work in the world - my purpose, I must make space for the transition between dual and non-dual thinking. A paradigm shift is occurring - shifting from either/or to both/and; from extreme to balanced.

I can feel the tension. The tension comes from not trusting, lack.

Richard Rohr describes non-dual thinking as “our ability to read reality in a way that is not judgmental, in a way that is not exclusionary of the part that we don’t understand. When you don’t split everything up according to what you like and what you don’t like, you leave the moment open, you let it be what it is in itself, and you let it speak to you. Reality is not totally one, but it is not totally two, either! Stay with that necessary dilemma, and it can make you wise.”

Paradox is usually like that.

We don’t get to see everything. We don’t get to know the future. We have only a limited understanding. Manifesting and goal achieving follow through with not reveal all, only here and now presence can. Look at how dualistic these sentences are!

I see the excuses coming up, the reasons, the justifications, the defensiveness all coming up. I see the comparisons and judgments - the same thinking that kept/keeps me small and scared, hindering the move from dualistic to non-dualistic thinking.

So how do I evolve from here? From this stuck place that perpetuates the dualistic thinking? I think I could begin to look at life in a continuum. That can see that I don’t have to be one or the other … I don’t have to be a mom or a business owner for example. That I am in fact, both/and and that truly it is a matter of perspective.

This is the longest blog post I have ever written - I didn’t set out to write such a long reflection and truthfully I am not going back to edit, because this is a blog post - my own space to reflect and learn from my reflection.

What have I learned from this reflection? And what piece of value can I share with you and keep close to my heart as I move forward?

Now that I see the duality of my thinking, I can keep perpetuating it or I can began to orient my thinking toward nonduality. This happens not through doing, but through being, through listening and through presence. I will end with these words, once again, from Father Richard Rohr

The dualistic mind cannot process things like infinity, mystery, God, grace, suffering, sexuality, death, or love.

Nondual consciousness is a much more holistic knowing, where your mind, heart, soul, and senses are open and receptive to the moment just as it is, which allows you to love things in themselves and as themselves.

So as I move forward, I will move forward with a mind and heart oriented towards “holistic knowing” and move from there; cultivating receptivity to the moment just as it is.

As my Nate said, just last night while I was lamenting my current lack of direction, “You have to be the thing, before you do the thing … You have to think about what kind of person you are going to be before you get all fixated on what you are doing to do.”

There you have it my friends.

Thanks for reading.


Black Pepper

Black Pepper

The Oil of Unmasking

Use in cooking   
Mix into chocolate : black pepper + rose chocolate

Complex and similar to Melissa
Soothes nerves and lessons anxious feelings

High in monoterpenes to help in warding off environmental + seasonal threats
You can find this in OnGuard softgels.
You diffuse it.
It’s very hot so it’s important to dilute (see oil safety)
*As with all doTERRA essential oils, this oil is potent and one drop is all that is needed.
Assists with healthy circulation: you can apply it to your joints, arms + legs (for cold hands + feet)

Emotionally, it is the Oil of Unmasking
Sometimes I feel like there are certain parts of myself that I need to hide, either to protect that aspect or to please others; or because they are unacceptable to myself. This doesn’t happen often now and I don’t hide well - for me it’s better to be out with it, but there are still times. (For ex: I have a mean streak that comes out when I’m tired/stressed.)

If you ever put up a facade in order to please or be accepted, Black Pepper can help in unmasking, getting real and digging deep to understand those parts so that they can brought to light to be loved and accepted.

Even if these parts aren’t acknowledged, they exist. The more an aspect of self is repressed the stronger it gets.

Black Pepper reignites the soul fire. It fuels motivation to heal and gives strength to overcome challenges in favor of integrity with the Self.

Negative emotions helped by Black Pepper would include: emotional dishonesty, repressed emotions, feeling trapped, judgemental
Positive properties supported by Black Pepper include: emotional honesty, authentic, courageous, motivated to be self-aware, personal integrity

Black Pepper pulls off all of the fake masks you have put on to pretend you are happy and have your life together. - Desiree Mangandog

Black Pepper brings hidden aspects of self to light to be accepted, loved and integrated.




What is BOGO?

A fun week-long event that happens just a few times a year as a surprise to feed your doTERRA curiosity and get you stocked up.
It’s buy one get one for a specific combination of oils for 24 hours until it sells out.

How to BOGO

Go into your back office (your store) and set it up through an LRP. You’ll want to set up a 2nd LRP if you yours hasn’t already processed. Any order over 50 and you get points back; a great time to stock up + to give to family + friends.

How to BOGO

OPTION ONE : Order any BOGO through a standard order and you will get your wholesale pricing + shipping back in product points.

OPTION TWO : get your wholesale membership set up for as little as $35 or purchase any starter kit which waves the $35 fee.


BOGOs are fun.
This is common week to start with doTERRA for people who’ve been waiting to take their health to the next level and support themselves with powerful natural health tools. Many people prefer to put value on this type of health care when it’s an easier transition into it.

One thing I want to impart : It will turn out to be the most important decision you make for yourself, for your family, within your home, and for some of you, circulate it out into your community.

This way of living is not going anywhere because there is a better way to approach health care. There is a better way to support your body in the healing that it does everyday.

If you are curious you may be thinking, “Well, they’re on sale … so maybe I’ll give it a try.”

Every day this week is buy one and get one free - each day is a specific combination to support you.

You can buy as many as 5, but it’s only good for the day.

If you don’t have a wholesale account - you may want to consider starting today.

You’ll get the oils at an additional 25% off.

You can purchase a kit, add the BOGO and get started.

If you are already a wholesale customer, you just log into your cart (your store) and add or order through your LRP to receive points (You will want to create a 2nd LRP template, which you can then delete at the end of the week) to stock up your natural health cabinets.

You can visit the doterra facebook page each day or add your email below and I’ll send you a daily email with a some good stuff just for you - this email list is intended for new customers, but you’re welcome to add your name too.

⚡️I have a little extra love for you this week if you decide this is your time to start which you can expect to arrive on your doorstep.

I am so excited at the possibility to welcome you to this beautiful healthy happy path.


Every day of the week, different BOGOs will be announced on dōTERRA's Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram pages, as well as the Virtual Office.

  1. There is a limit of 5 per account, per day.

  2. A new order must be placed if a member would like to participate in the special for that day. Members must pay shipping for every order. Shipping fees cannot be waived.

  3. Members must add the product to their order and the system will add the free item as long as the limit hasn't been reached or points haven't been used.

  4. If BOGOs are returned, both items must be included.

  5. Each BOGO will begin at 12:00 am MDT and be available until 11:59 pm MDT. The order must be placed and processed within this time.

Can I use points to buy the BOGOs?

No. Points cannot be used for BOGO specials.

How do I find out what the BOGOs are?

Daily specials will be announced each day on the doTERRA Essential Oils Facebook page,, and by email. There will be one unique BOGO a day starting Monday, February 18 through Friday, February 22, 2019 for a total of five specials for the week.

Are there any exceptions that can be made for the BOGOs?

No. If you miss a BOGO, there will be other opportunities in the future to participate in promotions and BOGOs.

How long does each BOGO last?

Each offer will begin at 12:00 AM MDT and will be available until 11:59 PM MDT. If you choose to participate, your order must be placed and processed within that 24-hour period.

Which markets are eligible to participate in these BOGOs?

These BOGOs will be available to the United States, Canada, and all NFR markets. If you are not in the United States or Canada, please check with your market to see what deals they have. Many international markets will also be participating in this BOGO event, although the products may differ. Please call Member Services to see if your market is participating.

Can Preferred Members, Retail Customers, and Wholesale Customers participate in the BOGOs?


Can you purchase a BOGO on an enrollment order?

Yes. Please be aware that new enrollments are still required to purchase the enrollment packet.

I want to place my order at the Product Center in Pleasant Grove, Utah. How do I do so?

Follow the instructions for purchasing below, but select Product Center as your shipping method. Please be aware that orders can only remain at the Product Center for 20 days.

Do I have to pay shipping every day for each BOGO order?

Yes. We recommend getting together with five friends, placing one order, and splitting the shipping cost. You will earn Shipping Rewards Points for each order placed online.

Can I email in my BOGO order?

No. If you have problems trying to process your BOGO order, please call Member Services immediately at (800) 411-8151. If you email us, we will not be able to process the order.

My credit card is declining. What should I do?

If your credit card is declining, make sure to enter your postal and security code (found on the back of your card) before processing. If you continue to have problems processing your order, please call Member Services at (800) 411-8151 immediately so they can assist you in processing your order.

Do the BOGOs qualify to earn Loyalty Rewards Program (LRP) Points and Shipping Reward Program (SRP) Points?

Normal rules apply. LRP points will be based on the PV of the item you are purchasing. Example: If the special were "Buy 1 Lemon, get 1 TerraShield Free," you would receive LRP points based off of the Lemon oil’s PV value, which is 11. Remember that points only apply if the order is an LRP order at 50 PV or above.

Orders will qualify for SRP Points based on normal qualifications.

How many BOGOs can I buy?
The BOGO limit is 5 per account, per day.

How do I know if my order has been placed and processed?

An order confirmation email will be sent to the email address listed on your doTERRA account.

Purchasing on a Standard Order

  1. Sign in to your back office and select the "Shop" tab.

  2. Select the appropriate category for the special that day. For example, if the BOGO is "Buy one Grapefruit, get one free Lemongrass," you would select "Single Oils," search for Grapefruit, and select "Add to Cart." Once you have finished shopping, click "Proceed to Checkout." The free Lemongrass will automatically be added to your cart.

  3. Standard orders will not receive LRP points; however, standard order Shipping Reward Points still apply.

Purchasing on a Loyalty Rewards Order

Sign in to and click on your LRP template.

Go to "Quick Add to Cart" bar and search for the special that day. For example, if the BOGO is "Buy one Grapefruit, get a free Lemongrass," search "Grapefruit," and select it when it pops up in the drop-down menu.

You no longer need to add an additional item for your LRP order to process, but if you wish to earn LRP points, your order must reach at least 50 PV. This is necessary in order for us to continue offering these amazing deals.

Once you have finished shopping, click "Ship Now," and then continue to the Review Order page. The free Lemongrass will automatically be added to your cart.

Select "Process Order Now."

For future processing, make sure you adjust your template after you complete your order.

Reality + Choosing out of a current situation

Reality + Choosing out of a current situation

Here is a picture of my reality …

Every morning I wake up with gratitude, wash my face and brush my teeth, usually one or both of my boys have screamed more than once. we do breakfast and lunches if I didn't do them the day before. Always there is resistance to some actions: eating, brushing teeth, getting coats and shoes on. we get to school most days on time. I come home clean up and get to work ..

I've taken the time to plan my week and I set to moving the needle a little bit during the hours of 8-10. Then I move my body, make + have a green smoothie + supplements and get Owen. Then the real work begins. The hard, challenging, maddening, learning, amazement begins. The real work is putting into practice what I believe in - what I say I believe in and letting myself life be testament. I have a long way to go.

Nate comes home for lunch and I prep dinner. I clean up, and up and up. Owen and me, and maybe a friend, another mama, tired like me but happy to have a friend comes over. Some phone calls, texts, posts. Some days I have to meet The Duchenne Dragon head on in the form of setting up medication delivery, making appointments, communicating with doctors and nurses, insurance companies and county services and iep conversations with the staff of teachers at school. We pick up B in the Burley trailer, going in early to help B with his things, navigating this necessary piece of gear to get him from here to there through a channel of children if O refuses to put on his shoes and coat or has to go potty two more times and we're late. Then its home, snack, study, screen time. Then while I'm making dinner daddy comes home, the dog starts barking wildly and the kids start screaming. I try to get everyone to the table and maybe someone helps setting the table but most days it's done before anyone hears my request. Dinner which is healthy and home cooked, is mostly received with a yuck (it could be ice cream and they might say yuck). We say Grace and give thanks and eat (or not eat), I clean up, boys start screaming again, N plays with the dog then spends time on his phone. Bedtime ritual starts with me going to the boys room and turning on their diffuser, turning down their sweet little beds prompting choosing tomorrow's clothes + jammies + wash face/bath + teeth. Calmer goes onto feet, up spines and into hands for 3 deep breaths + story + check in + snuggles before they fall asleep.

I take a deep breath, sit down, connect with Nate, watch a show. Make a cup of tea + magnesium, turn on my diffuser, take care of my skin, every few nights a skip shows and take a bath instead, get into bed with a book, sign my tea, take a Serenity softgel, rub oils on my feet, sandalwood into my palms and take three deep breathes and ask the Dreamaker to reveal something to me in my dreams, before I fall asleep. Some nights I stay up late dreaming and prepping and writing, working on my business and remembering what i do this for + what is most important.


I share all this, why?


Because I am getting real with myself and choosing to see it and to understand that I am also choosing out of this with the work I do from 8-10am every weekday morning.


The future I believe in is super duper happy, I am not super duper happy everyday and listen, I don't have to be ... You don't have to be where you want to be to start sharing the truth of what you believe.


There isn't an arrival point. Evolution is happening continuously. There is a messy middle and that's where I am. Am I 100% ok with it 100% of the time. No, but .. I am 1000% ok with that.


I believe that I have a toolset + skillset + this opportunity with doTERRA is giving me the mindset to create a reality of my choice with the resources that are right in front of me.


You can make whatever decision you want. I can't roll the oils on you, or put the supplements in your gut or cleanse your body, house, mind and spirit, get you to mat or to move your body or to change your habits.


I can only be a Lighthouse. Shining my Light, the Light that can not hide under circumstance or attitude or emotion or imperfection. Because it is part of me. It is part of you.


So I'm going be right here, cultivating rituals that make a difference in my own life. Following through on the actions I've set that will move me in the direction of my dreams. And share.

I am absolutely lit up LIT UP! by the idea of witnessing you do the same. I am so excited to see what you will do.


We all start somewhere.

Zone of Learning

Zone of Learning

I came across this article on on the Zone of Learning. The Zone of Learning is what gets me out of bed with gratitude and enthusiasm! Enjoy.

Your life is waiting at the other side of your comfort zone.

What if you could stretch beyond your comfort zone on your own terms? Not because someone else pushes you to do so. First, you must get rid of the dualistic approach — being comfortable is not the opposite of living dangerously.

Meet your comfort zone

“Discomfort may be a doorway; don’t run from it.” ― Joseph Deitch

According to Merriam-Webster, our comfort zone is the level at which one functions with ease and familiarity. The term was originally coined after the temperature range within which most people feel comfortable, and feel neither cold nor hot (68 to 72 °F or 20 to 22 °C). The comfort zone is a psychological state where one feels safe or at ease and without stress or anxiety. Judith Bardwick, the author of “Danger in the Comfort Zone,” defines the term as “a behavioral state where a person operates in an anxiety-neutral position.” It’s a perceived certainty where we believe we have access to all we need — we feel we have some control. This neutral state is both natural and human — our brain is lazy and leans toward the easiest path. We can continue living on autopilot or embrace discomfort to reap bigger rewards.

Simply put: do you want just to live or to thrive?

Research has demonstrated that a state of relative comfort creates a consistent and steady performance. However, relative anxiety — a state where our stress level is higher than normal — can maximize your performance. Conversely, too much anxiety drops your productivity off. The challenge is finding what Robert Yerkes and John Dodson called “Optimal Anxiety” — the sweet-spot between arousal and performance.


Being comfortably numb

“Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone at home?” — Pink Floyd

Sometimes life hurts. To avoid suffering, we build a wall around ourselves. Comfortably Numb is a Pink Floyd’s song from the album “The Wall.” Pink, the character from the namesake movie, is burnt out — he creates a bubble to protect himself from the outside. This wall seems to alleviate the pain, but doesn’t allow Pink to overcome the cause of his suffering. Having a comfort zone is not a problem — building a wall around it makes us feel numb. When we stop stretching beyond our own limits, we stop learning and growing. That’s the danger of staying in the comfort zone all the time — you end up bored and unchallenged. Start by getting rid of the ‘comfortable is safe; uncomfortable is dangerous’ dualism. You don’t have to put your life at risk to leave your comfort zone.

There are actually three, not two, zones where you can live.


The opposite of the Comfort Zone is the Danger space — personal growth happens in between: the Learning Zone.

Stretching beyond your comfort zone is not about being courageous, but curious.

Only by crossing the line of certainty and familiarity, you can grow. That’s what our current education and parenting model got wrong — by wrapping up kids in bubble plastic, they seeded fear and anxiety. We need to recover the value of ‘no pain, no gain,” as I explained here. If you’ve ever pushed yourself to get to the next level in sports, creativity or learning new skills, you know that feeling —pain is a signal of learning. We all struggle to do something for the first time. We all find it difficult to push ourselves harder and harder.

Pain is the voice of resistance — when you stop listening to it, you can focus on making progress.

Your brain, just like your body, needs training. Neurons that are weak, unused, or that don’t fit the job are pruned. Neurons that are exercised get stronger and develop more connections. When you start reaching a point where your inner voice tells you “stop,” that’s when you need to keep going. Every time I go biking, I set a goal. When I get halfway through the miles I decided to ride, my brain sends me a signal telling me to turn around. However, I challenge its laziness — I keep riding for a couple more miles. That’s how I keep pushing myself to bike more. Leaving your comfort zone is not as dangerous as you might think — explore the Learning Zone, not the Danger Zone. Also, though it sounds counterintuitive, there are significant dangers that lurk in the Comfort Zone. If you get too comfortable, you can start to hold yourself back. Also, our comfort zones tend to shrink as we get older.

There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long-range risks of comfortable inaction. -JFK

How to stretch your mind and grow

“The further you get away from yourself, the more challenging it is. Not to be in your comfort zone is great fun.” ―  Benedict Cumberbatch

1. Find Balance
Living outside of your comfort zone all the time can be as harmful as staying put. Training your mind, like in sports, requires not just effort, but to regulate your pace. Enjoying life is a balancing act between familiar and unfamiliar things. Some people will label you as comfortable if you don’t want to skydive. However, that’s your call. Those who approach life as “Gamblers” are driven by the thrill of the chase — by desperately avoiding comfort they end living in the Danger, not Learning, Zone.

2. Alternate Your Dynamics
To gain better results, mix the intensity and frequency of the challenges. If you run, let’s say 10 miles at the same average speed every day, you are not making real progress. It’s not that continually exercising is wrong, but always running at a steady pace improves your endurance, not your speed. Running intervals is the best way to increase your overall speed — run at speeds faster than you would race at for small periods of time.

3. Become Your Own Benchmark
What’s your baseline? How do you deal with risk and uncertainty? What most extremists miss is that everyone’s comfort zone is different — you can’t apply a one-size-fits-all approach. Those who are familiar with my line of work and writing, know that I’m always challenging myself and those around me. However, my experience both as a former CEO and now coaching hundreds of teams has taught me a great lesson: you can’t help others applying your standard. How much are you willing to stretch beyond their comfort zone? Don’t push yourself too hard.

4. Incremental Progression Changes Your Shape
Expanding your comfort zone requires multiple progressions to achieve long-lasting results. Think of your comfort zone as a rubber band. If you stretch it all of a sudden, you might be deceived by its apparent larger shape. Once you let go of the rubber band, not only it will go back to its original form, but it can actually hit you. The Ten Percent Advantage is an approach to create everyday progress: focusing on small 10% increments will move you forward. The most important part: it will help you build the momentum to turn leaving your comfort zone into a habit, not a one-off.

5. There’s No Trying; There’s Only Doing
Paraphrasing Yoda, trying doesn’t count; it’s doing what matters. Do the same things differently. Do things that scare you. Do things that you love but stopped doing them. Do something for the first time. Do something everyone is telling you shouldn’t do. The common theme is doing — that’s how you leave your comfort zone. And, when what was once uncomfortable, becomes the new normal; it’s time to do more. Remember, when you leave your comfort zone, you won’t find danger, but the learning zone.

Read the original article here