Reality + Choosing out of a current situation

Reality + Choosing out of a current situation

Here is a picture of my reality …

Every morning I wake up with gratitude, wash my face and brush my teeth, usually one or both of my boys have screamed more than once. we do breakfast and lunches if I didn't do them the day before. Always there is resistance to some actions: eating, brushing teeth, getting coats and shoes on. we get to school most days on time. I come home clean up and get to work ..

I've taken the time to plan my week and I set to moving the needle a little bit during the hours of 8-10. Then I move my body, make + have a green smoothie + supplements and get Owen. Then the real work begins. The hard, challenging, maddening, learning, amazement begins. The real work is putting into practice what I believe in - what I say I believe in and letting myself life be testament. I have a long way to go.

Nate comes home for lunch and I prep dinner. I clean up, and up and up. Owen and me, and maybe a friend, another mama, tired like me but happy to have a friend comes over. Some phone calls, texts, posts. Some days I have to meet The Duchenne Dragon head on in the form of setting up medication delivery, making appointments, communicating with doctors and nurses, insurance companies and county services and iep conversations with the staff of teachers at school. We pick up B in the Burley trailer, going in early to help B with his things, navigating this necessary piece of gear to get him from here to there through a channel of children if O refuses to put on his shoes and coat or has to go potty two more times and we're late. Then its home, snack, study, screen time. Then while I'm making dinner daddy comes home, the dog starts barking wildly and the kids start screaming. I try to get everyone to the table and maybe someone helps setting the table but most days it's done before anyone hears my request. Dinner which is healthy and home cooked, is mostly received with a yuck (it could be ice cream and they might say yuck). We say Grace and give thanks and eat (or not eat), I clean up, boys start screaming again, N plays with the dog then spends time on his phone. Bedtime ritual starts with me going to the boys room and turning on their diffuser, turning down their sweet little beds prompting choosing tomorrow's clothes + jammies + wash face/bath + teeth. Calmer goes onto feet, up spines and into hands for 3 deep breaths + story + check in + snuggles before they fall asleep.

I take a deep breath, sit down, connect with Nate, watch a show. Make a cup of tea + magnesium, turn on my diffuser, take care of my skin, every few nights a skip shows and take a bath instead, get into bed with a book, sign my tea, take a Serenity softgel, rub oils on my feet, sandalwood into my palms and take three deep breathes and ask the Dreamaker to reveal something to me in my dreams, before I fall asleep. Some nights I stay up late dreaming and prepping and writing, working on my business and remembering what i do this for + what is most important.

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I share all this, why?

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Because I am getting real with myself and choosing to see it and to understand that I am also choosing out of this with the work I do from 8-10am every weekday morning.

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The future I believe in is super duper happy, I am not super duper happy everyday and listen, I don't have to be ... You don't have to be where you want to be to start sharing the truth of what you believe.

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There isn't an arrival point. Evolution is happening continuously. There is a messy middle and that's where I am. Am I 100% ok with it 100% of the time. No, but .. I am 1000% ok with that.

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I believe that I have a toolset + skillset + this opportunity with doTERRA is giving me the mindset to create a reality of my choice with the resources that are right in front of me.

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You can make whatever decision you want. I can't roll the oils on you, or put the supplements in your gut or cleanse your body, house, mind and spirit, get you to mat or to move your body or to change your habits.

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I can only be a Lighthouse. Shining my Light, the Light that can not hide under circumstance or attitude or emotion or imperfection. Because it is part of me. It is part of you.

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So I'm going be right here, cultivating rituals that make a difference in my own life. Following through on the actions I've set that will move me in the direction of my dreams. And share.

I am absolutely lit up LIT UP! by the idea of witnessing you do the same. I am so excited to see what you will do.

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We all start somewhere.

Zone of Learning

Zone of Learning

I came across this article on theladders.com on the Zone of Learning. The Zone of Learning is what gets me out of bed with gratitude and enthusiasm! Enjoy.

Your life is waiting at the other side of your comfort zone.

What if you could stretch beyond your comfort zone on your own terms? Not because someone else pushes you to do so. First, you must get rid of the dualistic approach — being comfortable is not the opposite of living dangerously.

Meet your comfort zone

“Discomfort may be a doorway; don’t run from it.” ― Joseph Deitch

According to Merriam-Webster, our comfort zone is the level at which one functions with ease and familiarity. The term was originally coined after the temperature range within which most people feel comfortable, and feel neither cold nor hot (68 to 72 °F or 20 to 22 °C). The comfort zone is a psychological state where one feels safe or at ease and without stress or anxiety. Judith Bardwick, the author of “Danger in the Comfort Zone,” defines the term as “a behavioral state where a person operates in an anxiety-neutral position.” It’s a perceived certainty where we believe we have access to all we need — we feel we have some control. This neutral state is both natural and human — our brain is lazy and leans toward the easiest path. We can continue living on autopilot or embrace discomfort to reap bigger rewards.

Simply put: do you want just to live or to thrive?

Research has demonstrated that a state of relative comfort creates a consistent and steady performance. However, relative anxiety — a state where our stress level is higher than normal — can maximize your performance. Conversely, too much anxiety drops your productivity off. The challenge is finding what Robert Yerkes and John Dodson called “Optimal Anxiety” — the sweet-spot between arousal and performance.

gustavo-hebbian-dodson.png

Being comfortably numb

“Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone at home?” — Pink Floyd

Sometimes life hurts. To avoid suffering, we build a wall around ourselves. Comfortably Numb is a Pink Floyd’s song from the album “The Wall.” Pink, the character from the namesake movie, is burnt out — he creates a bubble to protect himself from the outside. This wall seems to alleviate the pain, but doesn’t allow Pink to overcome the cause of his suffering. Having a comfort zone is not a problem — building a wall around it makes us feel numb. When we stop stretching beyond our own limits, we stop learning and growing. That’s the danger of staying in the comfort zone all the time — you end up bored and unchallenged. Start by getting rid of the ‘comfortable is safe; uncomfortable is dangerous’ dualism. You don’t have to put your life at risk to leave your comfort zone.

There are actually three, not two, zones where you can live.

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The opposite of the Comfort Zone is the Danger space — personal growth happens in between: the Learning Zone.

Stretching beyond your comfort zone is not about being courageous, but curious.

Only by crossing the line of certainty and familiarity, you can grow. That’s what our current education and parenting model got wrong — by wrapping up kids in bubble plastic, they seeded fear and anxiety. We need to recover the value of ‘no pain, no gain,” as I explained here. If you’ve ever pushed yourself to get to the next level in sports, creativity or learning new skills, you know that feeling —pain is a signal of learning. We all struggle to do something for the first time. We all find it difficult to push ourselves harder and harder.

Pain is the voice of resistance — when you stop listening to it, you can focus on making progress.

Your brain, just like your body, needs training. Neurons that are weak, unused, or that don’t fit the job are pruned. Neurons that are exercised get stronger and develop more connections. When you start reaching a point where your inner voice tells you “stop,” that’s when you need to keep going. Every time I go biking, I set a goal. When I get halfway through the miles I decided to ride, my brain sends me a signal telling me to turn around. However, I challenge its laziness — I keep riding for a couple more miles. That’s how I keep pushing myself to bike more. Leaving your comfort zone is not as dangerous as you might think — explore the Learning Zone, not the Danger Zone. Also, though it sounds counterintuitive, there are significant dangers that lurk in the Comfort Zone. If you get too comfortable, you can start to hold yourself back. Also, our comfort zones tend to shrink as we get older.

There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long-range risks of comfortable inaction. -JFK

How to stretch your mind and grow

“The further you get away from yourself, the more challenging it is. Not to be in your comfort zone is great fun.” ―  Benedict Cumberbatch

1. Find Balance
Living outside of your comfort zone all the time can be as harmful as staying put. Training your mind, like in sports, requires not just effort, but to regulate your pace. Enjoying life is a balancing act between familiar and unfamiliar things. Some people will label you as comfortable if you don’t want to skydive. However, that’s your call. Those who approach life as “Gamblers” are driven by the thrill of the chase — by desperately avoiding comfort they end living in the Danger, not Learning, Zone.

2. Alternate Your Dynamics
To gain better results, mix the intensity and frequency of the challenges. If you run, let’s say 10 miles at the same average speed every day, you are not making real progress. It’s not that continually exercising is wrong, but always running at a steady pace improves your endurance, not your speed. Running intervals is the best way to increase your overall speed — run at speeds faster than you would race at for small periods of time.

3. Become Your Own Benchmark
What’s your baseline? How do you deal with risk and uncertainty? What most extremists miss is that everyone’s comfort zone is different — you can’t apply a one-size-fits-all approach. Those who are familiar with my line of work and writing, know that I’m always challenging myself and those around me. However, my experience both as a former CEO and now coaching hundreds of teams has taught me a great lesson: you can’t help others applying your standard. How much are you willing to stretch beyond their comfort zone? Don’t push yourself too hard.

4. Incremental Progression Changes Your Shape
Expanding your comfort zone requires multiple progressions to achieve long-lasting results. Think of your comfort zone as a rubber band. If you stretch it all of a sudden, you might be deceived by its apparent larger shape. Once you let go of the rubber band, not only it will go back to its original form, but it can actually hit you. The Ten Percent Advantage is an approach to create everyday progress: focusing on small 10% increments will move you forward. The most important part: it will help you build the momentum to turn leaving your comfort zone into a habit, not a one-off.

5. There’s No Trying; There’s Only Doing
Paraphrasing Yoda, trying doesn’t count; it’s doing what matters. Do the same things differently. Do things that scare you. Do things that you love but stopped doing them. Do something for the first time. Do something everyone is telling you shouldn’t do. The common theme is doing — that’s how you leave your comfort zone. And, when what was once uncomfortable, becomes the new normal; it’s time to do more. Remember, when you leave your comfort zone, you won’t find danger, but the learning zone.

Read the original article here


Weekly

Weekly

Having a weekly rhythm can eliminate distractions, keep you focused, and bring EASE to your days. Here is my plan now .. there is a weekly refinement process that I go through, but this is about what my weeks look like right now.

MONDAY

create content

grocery run

TUESDAY

12pm team call
connect with my people

library
hot yoga
date with the boys

WEDNESDAY

class design

2 hour clean prep + listen to podcast

THURSDAY

follow up
set up appointments

allergy shots + dog park + good will
clean car
date night

FRIDAY

reflection + creating
writing
visioning + planning

2 hour clean + listen to podcast
family movie night

SATURDAY

skype call with family
laundry
family adventure time
time with friends

SUNDAY

attend church
hot yoga
family meeting
weekly review
weekly plan + meal plan

Create themes and batch tasks.
Plan your week with your seasonal actions in mind (or in front of you - see seasons)
Review your week every Sunday for what needs adjusting.
Review. Refine. Automate. Delegate. Eliminate
What went well? What didn’t go well?
What could be done differently, more efficiently?
What could be automated?
What could be delegated or eliminated all together?
What am I grateful for?
Where did I grow?
What could I release or forgive?

The Parking Lot
I learned of this idea from Ange Peters when I went through her Beautiful Life Lab in 2018-2019. The parking lot is where you put allll of your ideas. Do you have a lot of ideas? I have a lot of ideas. ALOT. So much so that I can overwhelm myself with all the things that I want to do. What happens, then, is overwhelm. I see my huge list and like a large pile of laundry, can turn around and walk away. The Parking Lot is a nice place to store all of my ideas and thoughts about what to do and why come into my consciousness. I take a regular look at the Parking Lot to determine what needs to stay there in that parking lot and what needs to keep moving into the next week. Personally, I have trouble letting go of my ideas and my tasks … somewhere in my brain I want to do it all. Psychologically, I see that I try to prove … '“see look at all the things” … "look at all the things I have to do .. I couldn’t possibility make headway on my dreams today!” Well, I’ve called Bullshit on that. The weekly review helped me to change that thinking.


Now the hard work.
Mapping your week so that you are working towards the things that are most important to you. Honestly, this is where I get a little nervous, I see the resistance wanting to creep in a run the show. Here is a good place to note the importance of enlisting a good therapist, coach, or spiritual director - or all 3. We all have stuff that holds us back, that wants to keep us small and compliant with the current status quo. If you notice a block, talk it out, change it up, get some perspective. Utilize your journal and then review it for patterns. Friends, we get a short amount of time to live our precious lives - don’t waste it on creating ruts for yourself. If you want to do something - do it. You may need help clearing the path.

Moving the needle.
No one gets anywhere without a little effort. I think, though, that many of us overstrive and perhaps over do in an unconscious attempt to sabotage. If we are “so busy” how could we ever follow through on our dreams?; how could we possibly with all the things on our plate? Each week, I take time to review (see above for some questions I ask myself regularly), then conscious plan out my week utilizing the structure I created for myself. I do just 3 things each day that allow me to move in the direction of my dreams. Please know that there will always be a gap, always, always, between where you are and your ideals, but moving the needle just a small amount everyday makes an impact that is bigger than you can imagine overtime.


Monthly Wellness

Monthly Wellness

I can easily list all the ways in which getting started with doTERRA and investing in a monthy wellness order has impacted my life, perhaps I will (in another post). But first, I want to talk about the ways in which the Monthly Wellness Order can benefit you.

The first is time.
A pretty purple box shows up on your doorstep. If you want to do something like “maximize the energy you have to make decisions in your life”, this action saves you a ton of time because you have a source to order from for the majority of your self + health care products each month. No more running or shopping around. As a mom of two boys, this was huge. When I actually looked into it, I saw all the leaks and sealed them up quickly with my monthly Loyalty Rewards Order. Sure you can do a lot with the amazon app, but besides the 3-5% cash back I get for using a amazon credit card, Amazon is not rewarding me.

So, second, rewards.
doTERRA rewards you for being committed to a healthy life.

Start with a customer account, choose your collection, shop your own store at 25% off - access for a whole year - you don't have to order monthly - you can opt in whenever you want, you can customize the box that shows up with whatever you want + shipping costs come back in points .. and you only need to order one thing per month to receive points. You don’t have to commit to something bigger or get things your don’t really want or need. You are in complete control. You own your own online store.

Take a minute and be honest about what you are spending and how long it's taking you to gather it all up ... and then ask, am I getting any rewards back for doing this?

After your first year of ordering, you lock in 30% back on every single order + you get your shipping back in points.

Here is an example of short list of items you could add to your customizable wellness box.

Life Long Vitality supplements - we order every other month

PB assist Jr + A2Z

PB assist probiotic

Terrazyme - supports digestive + absorption ability, with kids if they are having anything showing up on their skin, eats up the yeasts

Mito2max - clean energy cycles in the body, supports mitoconcrodia (no caffiene)

Deep blue polyphenels - Frankincense gum resin extract + curminodes, grapeseed extract - polypenols give produce it's color

Natural spa line: 1-2 on ewg, super clean
body butter, body scrub, mud masks, hair care, etc.
Balance deodorant
Lip balm

On Guard: provides gentle exposure to immune support throughout the day
Toothpaste + mouthwash (cheaper than health food store, dentist impressed) - helps to reminialize teeth, protective, whitening
On guard throat drops, santizier, detergent - very concentrated

+ Oils!!

Product of the month = 125pv before the 15th

+ Gifts
+ accessories (teachers gifts)

It just replaces so many products that you are already buying. It takes all the decision fatigue out, its super convenient, you are complete control of you, you can get 30% back + shipping cost come back in points, you can cancel anytime, buy one item or 30 AND you are investing in your self and partnering with a company that is ethical, sustainable, caring, and committed to all the things that you in your heart are committed to.

Click here for more info on the LRP.
Click here if you would like to get started.

Midmorning

Midmorning

MIDMORNING

  • 10Min clean up + CREATE BEFORE CONSUME MINDSET

  • JOURNAL

  • ACTION on top 3

  • MOVEMENT (to sweat - 30min)

  • SMOOTHIE: BASE OF SPINACH + NUT MILK + SPIRULINA + COLLAGEN + OIL + SEEDS + HERBS + SUPPLEMENTS

  • PICK UP O FROM PRESCHOOL + CONNECT

  • COMPUTER WORK - 30/60MIN

  • LUNCH + DINNER PREP

create before consume mindset + journal + action: “Create before consume” is a phrase I hear from Ange Peters and it’s a concept that resonates with me so deeply and feeds my actions. I have spent lots of time consuming inspiration - my feed is full of beautiful inspiring friends and people, but what started to happen is that I went there and took from there and then gave that. I didn’t give from my deep well of wisdom and experience - I didn’t give from myself, my heart, my unique soul. So I spend time in silence and I journal and I listen and give from there. It’s so much more satisfying, the work is hard and good, but the more I do that, the more it flows. Just like everyone, I have my own energetic signature. No one in the world can give what I can give, no one in the world can do what I do. Gone is the question of “good enough” or “valuable”, because when I offer what is true and authentically me, everything is changed. When I focus on what I can give, share, offer; when I focus on the question of what will be valuable to another person, what might uplift or encourage, what will serve, my writing, offering, living changes for the better. The energy moves from what can I get to what can I give - and everyone benefits! I think that this kind of action, being YOU deeply, authentically, essentially, truly you - is the best thing you can do for the world. Discovering who that is comes from consistent, deep listening .. and the courage to mine the depths of your being. (More on that another day!)

10min clean up + movement: the 10 min clean up is key to keep the energy clean and flowing in our home. Things can reach tornado level quickly with 4 males. It's so managable to set the timer for 10 min and focus completely on pick up/clean up. Never underestimate what you can accomplish in ten minutes time with complete focus. I consider restoring order my magic power. I must say, that I have spent some considerable time feeling resentment and out right rage in regards to the state of the house. Now, I see it as an amazing task I accomplish everyday. No one in our home prefers a mess; and no one in our home wants perfection (well, there is a part of me that still wants perfection, but I've tasked this part of myself to these 10 minutes of clean up and that part of me is thrilled!) I love a clean house - I love how it feels to have things put away, counter tops free of crumbs, floors sweeped and a gentle, loving kind, benevolent energy running through our home. The 10 min clean up - I dare you.

Since I'm already moving and focused, its pretty seamless to transition into movement. I have some things downloaded on my task list and I just play a video, or put on yoga glo (though I like to save this for days that aren't as busy because energy shifts from active to stable on the mat), or simply put on my running shoes and literally run out the door, down the street (maybe take a loop around over the to prairie trails) and then over to school to pick up Owen.  [side note: we have choosen to live in a smaller town and we were lucky enough to find and purchase a house close to both school and work - we don't have long commutes and this affords us the option of running or biking instead of driving.]

smoothie: unless I’m really wanting eggs (usually around my cycle), this is breakfast. I started doing this when I went through Cate Stillman’s Body Thrive Program a few years back and really automated it this year. Automation is so freeing. If you are a bit of a rebel with habits, remember that automation = freedom - the guess work, the thinking, the should I have this? or this? ruminating - gone. The smoothie is little different each day .. I don’t use a measuring cup, but it’s consistent and that is the key. Once the habit is automated your body will tell you. It’s like we are downloading instructions and the body executes. The alternative would be say, wait until you are starving, find anything edible, revert to old habits (cereal, like when you were a child for example), then your blood sugar crashes, you get cranky, and your repeat that throughout the day. Make it easy to be healthy and you will be. That voice that says (whiny toddler voice) … I don wanna will quiet with your consistent action.

pick up O + snack & connect
Running to get Owen is fun. We walk, run, or ride bikes home. I make him a snack and if I haven't had my smoothie yet, I drink it here. I enjoy this time connecting with my almost 5 year old and keep all distractions out of eye site so that I can focus my attention on him, so that he feels seen, loved, and appreciated. I always ask him at least one open-ended question (more on that in a different post).  

screen time: O loves his screen time, loooves. He’s probably the most consistent person in our household and has his routines pretty clearly laid out for himself. Almost immediately after snack and usually with his mouth full he’s running down the stairs to the den. So instead of fight over screen time (You know what I’m talking about!) we do it together. 30 min. Never underestimate what you can accomplish with 30 min of clear focus. He gets his screen time and I get it done - and leave what I don’t get done until the next day. There are exceptions for sure and I can be admittedly lax especially when the words are flowing and the inspiration is high, but that limit really helps focus my energy and helps me make that time super efficient.

lunch + dinner prep: N usually comes home at lunch with is a huge blessing to be able to see him in the middle of the day. The 3 of us can sit down to a good hot meal together. Since I’m in the kitchen, I batch my tasks I get the boys snacks + next day lunches and dinner prepped or in the crock pot so that dinner time can be a peaceful and potent time to connect.