I am committed to writing everyday for 30 min and then publishing what I wrote. To you, my writing, like my thinking and speaking, might seem random. I do not think in straight lines, instead there is a constant circulation pulling in and out of this realm and another. For me, writing is way to process and get right with myself and the confusing aspects of my life.

What does “getting right” mean?

It means that I look at my past, the root causes, my current actions, and I heal. I don’t manage the symptoms, I heal. Healing doesn’t look like same as managing systems right? I understand why “managing symptoms” is such a big part of our culture’s medical practice. If symptoms can be managed, sweeping life changes don’t have to be made. If pain isn’t felt, if there are no symptoms I don’t have to look at my current actions, the root causes, my past. And I don’t heal. And here’s the problem: we cannot heal, if we dunnot feel.

We are given so many ways out of feeling. Our whole culture is made up of ways to not feel. Or to feel from a distance.

Yesterday, Notre Dame was on fire. Did you feel that? Did you cry? I will never forget what I felt like to sit in that church. I felt centuries of connection to God, to Nature as the pagans did before the Catholics, on that Holy site. The memories of that feeling flooded me when I saw the fire, and I felt a deep sadness. And then I felt all the ways in which I feel sad .. about everything ..

Feeling from a distance would make it easier. Having no symptoms would make it easier. But, no one said it would be easy.